My soft-coated Wheaten Terrier, my monster-boy, was not a planned acquisition, but I love him just the same. He's the only dog I've ever had who I can say has made me laugh out loud every day. And he's a loving, good boy who only runs away when given every opportunity. So, imagine my dismay when I found out that he is not very evolved - he still is true to the calling of his breed.

He likes to catch and kill rodents.

Hmm. Rodents. I don't even like to think about rodents, but I know the "category" includes: those tiny hopping mice that are an endangered species somewhere (kinda cute until they're hopping in your house, probably); squirrels, who aren't really so bad as long as they're not chuck-chucking interminably at you or your crazed Wheaten terrier; and then there are rats....which come up out of the slough behind the houses across the street from me and decided this summer to move into my yard, living under the deck, and in my garage - by eating through the rubber flange at the bottom of the door. (Little tiny pieces of black rubber in crescent-shaped bites on the floor of my garage....YIKES!)

So I came home from work tonight to find a DEAD rat in my dining room.

I'm not sure I'm ever going to get over it. My monster-boy finally caught something and dragged it through the dog-door and into my nice clean dining room. I started to cry and walked across the street to my neighbors, the two gay guys who are as sweet as pie. I said to them, "Please help me. I have a dead rat in my dining room." Characteristically, they responded with good humor - "You've got a lot of nerve, picking on a couple of gay guys to get rid of your dead rodents." They fixed me up as good as new, though I'm trying to figure out what I should do to that part of the carpet. Like apply a blow-torch to it? My Wheaten was dismayed to find his prize gone. I started drinking red wine immediately, because I couldn't think about eating the chicken that I had planned to eat for dinner...yikes and ick. Better to drink.

I gave my neighbors a couple of roses from my garden, and I baked banana bread from scratch that I'm bringing over to them tomorrow. What would I have done without them? Knocked on doors until I found a volunteer...I guess. Or gotten a hotel room until I could find someone to hire for rat removal.

I called my sister - she said I should put the house on the market. That would take care of that carpet problem.

But I might not get good neighbors next time.